Don't Tell A Childhood Memory Around Beah. He'll One-Up You.

By Barrister Russell

**Before we begin, let me say that the GBCOA is composed solely of White Anglo-Saxon Protestants - meaning we have no perspective with which to relate to the civil unrest, poverty or war-derived savagery that takes place in both the setting of this book and the many second and third world countries around ours. For this I am thankful. But for you readers, I apologize, because I am forced to believe everything I read and sympathize greatly with the characters and their respective dispositions. A memoir does not afford us the luxury of skepticism, for that would make us racist, bigoted and another word that has similar connotations. With that said, here is our incredibly distant and biased review of A Long Way Gone, for what it's worth.

Here's what you need to know:

• Sierra Leone has been at war with itself for centuries
• Sierra Leone is still at war with itself

As told from the eyes of a precocious 12-year old boy, A Long Way Gone tells the story of a people in constant conflict with their brothers and sisters. The story of a country so far gone that its very future is being handed AK-47's at the age when they should be reciting multiplication tables. The story of a world where culture, family and bloodshed are indistinguishable from each other - all painted in different shades of gray.

Beah assumes that the reader is aware that there is an ongoing conflict in his homeland when he tells his story, but doesn't make that knowledge a prerequisite. The memoir is captivating enough to entertain even the most ignorant of readers. But if that previous statement hit home with any of you, then we're also making the assumption (a safe one at that) that you had a hard time following the nuance of Beah's language and diction. Few writers working today have the command Beah does over the English language, let alone foreign writers. But to be able to describe a setting or situation worthy of ten pages with the brevity and precision of two, the GBCOA has to remove their respective hats in recognition of a job well done. In fact, it's this very ability that allowed Beah to successfully walk the line of leaving the reader wanting more and drumming up sympathy for his cause - a task few penners have been able to master (see David Carr of Night of the Gun)

A Long Way Gone begins during a quieter period of Sierra Leone's history, when we first meet our 12-year old narrator. We learn of his family, his village, and his daily chores and activities. The background seems to go on a little too long, and at points, it gets overwhelming, especially when we learn about 86 very non-White Anglo-Saxon Protestant names at once. But all in all, the setup is justified. Mostly because there has to be some good to offset all the bad, especially in the selective memory of a present-day Beah. We then learn about the rebel uprising and the establishment of the RUF order in Sierra Leone, followed immediately by the subsequent oppression of anyone who isn't RUF. Beah floats throughout his country, from village to village for several chapters, narrowly escaping capture, torture and death before finally falling into the child army opposite the RUF. It's here that we are thrust into a harsh reality - a reality where children soldiers are more threatening than adult soldiers. Where the scariest thing is an army with no autonomy. Children who are simply following one order - kill anyone who doesn't look like you. Between the constant use of cocaine and brown brown, the lack of sleep altogether and the continual barrage of mass murders, it's a wonder Beah was able to make it through to the point where he is freed from the war and sent to rehab. It's here that we learn that possibly the only thing more eerie than a child solider is a recovering child soldier - a soul so gone that it will kill just to feel normal again.

The GBCOA won't get into the details of Beah's recovery, because it's clear he gets rehabilitated, but it will point to one conclusion after finishing the book: we wanted more bloodshed. Most of the book was spent leading up the the times when Beah was a child solider (even the cover suggests it), but once we got there, we only got a few chapters of drug use, killing and human savagery. Does this make us disgusting, awful beings? Maybe. But I'd also point a finger at those of you who have made Saw one of the highest grossing franchises in movie history.

The point here is this: As a whole, we as a people crave suspensions of disbelief. That's why we fork over 10 bucks to see Jigsaw's latest victim, why Stephanie Meyer is worth more money than we'll ever see and why video games exist altogether. We like operating in realities that aren't our own. So inherently, we want Beah to indulge us further. We want more blood and guts. It's what we crave. We're humans. But let's remember, this story is his reality. There is no suspension of disbelief for him. And he's a human too.

So are we being apologetic for Beah's omissions? Maybe. After all, it was his choice to release a memoir about his life. No one was holding a gun to his head. Either way, the GBCOA enjoyed reading what Beah was willing to let us in on - especially the parts where people were holding a gun to his head.

Overall rating: 2.5 Beaver Pelt Hats

Barrister Lichtenauer: +1
Barrister Russell: +2.5
Barrister Shaw: +3.5
Barrister Wells: +3

Meeting Place: Chicago is to hot dog as New York is to _______. In search of a hot, greasy slice, we chose D'Bronx - all in honor of Beah's trip to New York at the end of the novel.

Next Up: Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk

The Boy Detective Gets A Passing Grade

By Barrister Shaw

Sit right down, dear reader, and hear a tale of the ever-vigilant boy detective Billy Argo, a genius in the model of the Hardy Boys and Encyclopedia Brown who, in the course of his young career, foiled many a fiend with the help of his sister Caroline and childhood friend Fenton. Of course, this tale picks up 20-something years later where Billy has been living in a mental hospital ever since his own attempted suicide following Caroline’s own successful self-destruction.

Billy rides the bus, goes to work at a wig and artificial facial hair phone sales company, hangs out with the neighborhood outcast siblings, and evades several attempts on his life by his former adversaries. As for the outcasts, the brother never speaks and demolishes the other classmates at school. And the sister is hated by her peers for her awkwardness. They find a friend in Billy, who seems to understand and accept them, helping them solve the mystery of where their pet rabbit’s head went and quietly monitoring their rocketry experiments. He also goes to great lengths to find and connect with a pink-clad kleptomaniac he spots one day on the bus.

One thing you can say about this book – it’s unique. Meno clearly has great affection and sympathy for misfits and outcasts, and he brings these characters to life in this book. The Gentlemen convened to discuss the book and found our group divided. On one hand, you have a well written, often moving story with moments of almost poetic observation. On the other, you have increasingly absurd villains appearing out of nowhere, random passages and characters who appear to be weird for the sake of being weird. As Scott said, “It was like Mitch Hedberg’s description of pancakes, ‘exciting when you start out, but by the end you’re sick of it.’”

Parts of this book can wear on you – especially if you’re going to sit and wonder how buildings get disintegrated with nobody noticing, or why even a mad professor would spend his entire life ineffectually menacing someone whose mental condition is already clearly in distress. If that’s the case, this book probably isn’t for you. All of this might make sense if, as Zach suspected, Billy is autistic. The more we discussed, the more likely that seemed to be the case. If so, props to Meno for presuming the intelligence of his audience and not spelling it out or making a big deal how much of a genius he is. It’s writing that respects and challenges the reader. And if there’s anything the GBCoA appreciates, it’s being mentally challenged.

Overall Rating: 1.875 Beaver Pelt Hats

Barrister Lichtenauer: 0 (the first ever Whale Oil Lamp)
Barrister Russell: 0 (the second ever Whale Oil Lamp)
Barrister Shaw: +3.5
Barrister Wells: +4.0

Meeting Place: The Gentlemen payed homage to the heyday of the Hardy Boys and Encyclopedia Brown by investigating the mystery of the disappearing drinks at The Foundry, known for its late 70's - early 80's themed fare.

Next Up: A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah