For The Gentlemen’s latest book, we tackled the beach- (or airport, in the case of this reviewer) friendly read Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen. By all accounts, this was a quick and compelling read full of lively and memorable characters, probably a large part of why it’s a recent bestseller.
We follow the story of Jacob Jankowski, a Cornell Veterinary student in his final semester of school. Jacob is just cruising along, hanging out at college and hoping to get in his hot classmate’s pants when tragedy strikes. His parents are killed in a car accident, leaving behind nothing but debt. Devastated, Jacob skips out on his final exams and hops the nearest train to three months of adventure, life lessons, romance and drama with the nation’s umpteenth-rated fleabag circus. His veterinary skills come in handy to the ragtag tribe, and he soon finds himself at odds with his patron, head trainer of the animal show, August. Largely this conflict stems from Jacobs refusal to accept August’s abuse of the animals in his care, but rapidly expands to Jacob’s designs on his wife, Marlena. Not surprisingly, the story ends in chaos and murder, though how it plays out may surprise you.
Told in parallel to this story, is the recounting of this story by an elderly Jacob Jankowski, whiling his days away in a shitty nursing home, waiting for his shitty kids to come and take him to the circus nearby and enduring the shitty behavior of his nurses and would-be Casanova of the blue hairs, Joseph McGuinty, who claims to have carried water for the elephants. Jacob could blow this guy out of the water for being a liar since apparently nobody carries water for elephants, but he chooses to sit and stew about it. To be fair, there’s one nurse who takes a shine to Jacob and makes his days somewhat more tolerable.
Honestly, you can probably read the book yourself faster than it would take me to tell the whole thing. And it’s worth it. For expediency, through these combined stories, we are reminded of a few long-standing truths.
- The 1930’s were tough.
- Circus folk are one big, grimy, dysfunctional family.
- Moonshine will fuck you up. Like puking-on-two-prostitutes-who-are-about-to-give-you-the-trump-all-others-best-virginity-losing-story-before-waking-up-in-a-trunk-naked-slathered-in-clown-makeup fucked up.
- You can’t fight true love, but you can kill for it.
- Hurting animals is bad.
- Getting old sucks.
Barrister Lichtenauer, while he enjoyed the book, made a rather compelling argument for looking at the story from a different perspective.
Here’s a story for you. A gruff but loving animal trainer makes his living on a 1930’s traveling circus with his beautiful wife, the lead performer in his show. When a brainy young vet school dropout on the run from his demons hops the train, he takes the troubled boy under his wing, inviting him into his heart and home. But before he knows it, the kid is making goo-goo eyes at his wife, turning his coworkers against him and leaving knives on his pillow in the middle of the night. Soon enough, his wife is sleeping with the kid and he has a homicidal elephant ready to give him the old Kentucky dirt nap. And all because he disciplined some of his animals here and there. Ok, and his wife. But it was the 30’s. Society didn’t have its shit together, just ask black people. It wasn’t right, but at the time it was perfectly acceptable. Plus, apparently the guy was a paranoid schizophrenic, undiagnosed in that time.
Short recap: College dropout steals wife from mentally ill man.
Just think about it from August’s side. Now doesn’t that sound like a damn tragedy? But history is written by the winners, even in fiction, and Jacob the cuckolding dropout is our hero. And he gets a very compelling sendoff, even if he was a bit of a prick at times. Yeah, yeah, who isn’t? Just remember that every antagonist isn’t necessarily a full-blown black-hatted moustache-twirling villain either.
As always, dear reader, we’ll let you decide for yourself.
Overall rating: 2.5625 Beaver Pelt Hats
Barrister Lichtenauer: +2.25
Barrister Russell: +2.0
Barrister Shaw: +3.0
Barrister Wells: +3.0
Meeting Place: The Gentlemen convened at Rosedale Barbecue both to honor the titular elephant and enjoy hanging out by the railroad tracks in hopes of a circus train passing by. But all we found was horsemeat.
Next Up: Three Dollars by Elliot Perlman
