A Brief Discussion Amongst Classy Gentlemen

By Barrister Lichtenauer

It’s not often you read something and:

• Laugh out loud at the use of “dick waggling”
• Think to yourself how much better a writer is than you
• Have to take breaks because what you’re reading is unforgiving with long footnotes, several page passages with no breaks, etc…

But with Brief Interview with Hideous Men (BIWHM) late author David Foster Wallace (DFW) manages to do all that – and before page 100 to boot.

BIWHM is a series of short stories hell-bent on exploring the dark side of man. The consistent element that ties the book together is a series of “interviews” with men who know full well they’re terrible. Whether explaining the nuance required to convince a girl to let you tie her up, recounting the universe-stalling ramifications of a jerk-off fantasy or explaining how a man knew a woman would be a good wife because her body still looked good after having a baby.

DFW was not only a certifiable genius (he won the coveted MacArthuer Genius Grant) he was also certifiably crazy (committed suicide after years battling depression) – and both those sides come shining through in his stories. He has an ability to come up with dialogue so natural and original that you feel like you’re reading something that you’ve already thought. DFW then adds in a healthy mix of philosophy and logic and god knows what else.

There were, in this book, around 20 stories, so we want to highlight a few of our favorites and some of the ones we hated (because as Barrister Russell points out “DFW is incredibly on when he's on and incredibly off when he's off”).

• A Radically Condensed History of Postindustrial Life: By far the shortest of the stories and a great way to kick it all off, “makes you think.”
• Forever Overhead: The whole thing was about a kid’s walk to the high dive – yet it was beautiful and brilliant and familiar.
• The Depressed Person: The GBCOA hated this story (Barrister Shaw especially) it was a chore with its repetition, several-page-long footnotes and lack of anything happening.
• Signifying Nothing: The dick-waggling story. A classic.
• Datum Centurio: If it was any longer than 3 pages, this book would have gotten a significantly lower rating.
• Octet: A nice exercise in self-awareness as a writing style
• Adult World (II): Literally an outline of what he planned to write… but it still worked.
• Tri-Stan: I Sold Sissee Nar to Ecko: The best part, the title is probably one of the most clear sentences in this story.
• On His Deathbed, Holding Your Hand, the Acclaimed New Young Off-Broadway Playwright's Father Begs a Boon: A father hates his son. Wells’ self-proclaimed favorite story of all time.

The GBCOA have this book a well-earned “Bully” even though Barrister Russell admittedly hates short story collections.

Overall rating: 3.167 Beaver Pelt Hats

Barrister Lichtenauer: Abstained (I would’ve have skewed the results with my unnatural love of DFW’s work)
Barrister Russell: +2
Barrister Shaw: +3
Barrister Wells: +4.5

Meeting Place: The Flying Saucer. Nothing makes us feel more like hideous men then ogling waitresses wearing school-girl outfits – and yes, Hooters was too far away and no one felt like eating at a strip club.

Next Up: The Slide by Kyle Beachy