Quick HItters

So between episodes of Storage Wars and finishing the entire series of Breaking Bad, I managed to read a book or two over the past several months. Below are incredibly brief summaries of plots, opinions and ratings. I apologize in advance for their brevity, but I'm a very busy man. Here are the highlights.

Shogun - James Clavell

This epic 1,200 page novel is set in ancient Japan as the country faces colonization and the spread of Catholicism by the Spanish and Dutch in the early 16th century. The protagonist, John Blackthorne, and his ship and crew are detained by Japanese soldiers, or samurai as they are commonly referred to in Japan. The book follows Blackthrone from his total contempt of the Japanese and their culture, to embracing the way of the samurai and quickly climbing the ranks and becoming a trusted confidant to Toranaga, an ambitious Diamyo set on earning the title of Shogon. The book is literally as exciting as that synopsis.

Spies, wars, prostitution, betrayal, karate, explosions, earthquakes, hawks, castles and swords were not enough to interest me in this never-ending "saga". Not sure why I put saga in quotes, but it felt right.

This much celebrated novel took me months to finish because I dreaded reading and it made me physically angry thinking about have to complete just one chapter. I agreed to read Shogon after a drunken argument with a buddy over the best book I'd ever read. He literally pleaded like a little girl until I agreed to read this stupid book because he would not shut up about its awesomeness. I urge you with the same intensity now, do not read this book. Just don't do it.

Rating: 2.5 Clubbed Baby Seals (A generous rating as I did enjoy the historical aspect)

The Ask - Sam Lypsite

I enjoyed this book quite a bit. An easy read that kept me interested. It's a modern day Catcher in the Rye, if Holden Caufield was grown up with a shitty job and a family he didn't particularly care for. Although the word phony is not peppered throughout the book, the protagonist is quite judgmental and definitely insecure. In keeping with my brevity theme, onto the rating.

Rating: 2 Beaver Pelt Hats

Four Seasons: The Story of A Business Philosophy - Isadore Sharpe

Drinking the Kool-aid, climbing the ladder. Unless you work for a hotel or plan on opening one, probably more suitable books on the shelf that would interest you.

Rating: 5 Beaver Pelt Hats if my manager is reading this. 1.5 Beaver Pelts Hats if I'm being honest

White Noise - Don Delillo

What can I say? Obviously a great read by a great American novelist. I'm scared as shit of dying, and I certainly don't welcome any Airborne Toxic Events into my life. Knowing the majority of the members in this exclusive club have read this book, let me pose this question: Did you want to punch that kid Heinrich in the mouth ever? I did. My only negative comment about this book is that I built it up so much in my mind and it didn't exceed those expectations. But, that's not Delillo's fault. Underworld is still my favorite Delillo novel, that's that.

Rating: 3.75 Beaver Pelt Hats

The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

I mistakenly picked up this book based on a recommendation from a friend. However, in my inebriated state I wrote down The Book Thief instead of Book of Thieves. I have to admit I didn't hate The Book Thief, but found several parts droll and cliche.

Set in Nazi Germany in the late 30's and early 40's the book begins at a disadvantage. Elie Weisel and Anne Frank pretty much have this category dominated. However, the book's saving grace is that it was narrated by the Grim Reaper, Death himself. I enjoyed the perspective of looking at the holocaust through the eyes of death, but the book lagged at times with the details of a war-torn Germany and the Holocaust which are well documented in several works, both in the entertainment and academic worlds.

The story focuses on a young girl with a veracious appetite for reading. As books were burned by Nazis and citizens alike in compliance with Hitler's wacky mandates, our protagonist takes to breaking into a local house known for its expansive library. I could give more insight into the plot details, but honestly, I just don't feel like it. You've seen Schlindler's List, Schlindler's List is better.

I would recommend this book to a high school student looking for a quick read on vacation, but other than the unique narration aspect, I was fairly neutral with my feelings on The Book Thief. At certain points I found myself enjoying the story immensely. Other times I would skip to the last page to see how much more was left before I could begin my next reading endeavor. So with that in mind, you know what's coming...

Rating: Whale Oil Lamp

White Teeth - Zadie Smith

*See Barrister Lichtenauer's previous post. I concur.

Rating: 1 Beaver Pelt Hat (rating based on ability to brag at cocktail and dinner parties)

You Shall Know Our Velocity - David Eggers

After you saw the name of the author, you probably assumed that this book was a great read and that I absolutely loved it. Well, you'd be correct to assume that. In classic GBCoA fashion, I'm going to throw some bullet points your way and you can decipher whether or not this book is for you.

• Two childhood friends deal with their grief after the loss of their best friend (he died, he didn't become best friends with other guys or anything like that)
  
• They plan a trip around the world to random and obscure places
• They encounter several setbacks; some hilarious, some dangerous, some unsettling
  
• Said setbacks lead to coming to terms with their friend's death and discovering some truths about themselves

Intrigued? You should be. Do yourself a favor and go to your local book dispensary and pick up a copy of this book. You don't need to read it immediately or anything, but you'll be glad once you do.

Rating: 4 Beaver Pelt Hats

All the King's Men - Robert Penn Warren

If you're into 1930's political corruption in the South and haven't read this book, then you are a giant fool, my friend. Loosely based on Louisiana's 40th Governor Huey "Kingfish" Long, All the King's Men reads like an honors American lit teacher's wet dream. Warren's prose perfectly captures the dialogue and vocabulary of the region and era and tells the tale of a small-time corrupt politician's rise to becoming a prominent Governor. The story is told through the eyes of Jack Burden, a history major who is befriended by politician Willie Stark through a series of backroom dealings.

The plot moves briskly and much is accomplished in a rather short novel. My favorite character is Willie Stark's driver, Sugar Boy, given the moniker because of his habit of sucking on sugar cubes. He also drives like a madman and no one seems to mind. Worth a read for sure and a plot twist or two to keep you on your toes. If you do decide to pick it up, imagine Willie Stark as Boss Hog from the Dukes of Hazard. You'll thank me for the comparison.

Rating: 2.25 Beaver Pelt Hats

And with that, I will call it a night. I have about a dozen other books that I will provide feedback on as soon as I feel motivated, so don't hold your breaths. Until then, fill your snifter, light your cigar and crack the spine of a freshly purchased paperback (Scott, I know will refuse to do this. Shaw, I know you buy your books used. That previous statement was mainly meant for Zach and I).

Barrister Wells